What Prayer Requires

What Prayer Requires


Some people make it sound as if you must have superhuman faith and the perseverance of a medieval saint to pray. Here's how E. M. Bounds, a writer famous for his books on prayer, put it:

Prayer is a rare gift, not a popular, ready gift. Prayer is not the fruit of natural talents; it is the product of faith, of holiness, of deeply spiritual character. . . . Perfection in simplicity, in humility, in faith these form its chief ingredients. Novices in these graces are not adept in prayer. It cannot be seized upon by untrained hands. . . . Master workmen are required, for mere journeymen cannot execute the work of prayer.

Uh, not quite. Prayer is designed for journeymen, for amateurs, for the inept, for complete idiots. Sure, in the right hands (or knees), prayer can reach dizzying heights of spirituality, and seasoned veterans may get a lot more out of prayer than rookies. But don't be fooled by anyone who says that prayer is only for the talented or that the school of prayer has steep prerequisites. Prayer has prerequisites, all right, but they are the type that even complete novices can fulfill. Let's look at four of these: faith, honesty, humility, and patience.

1 Faith

You certainly need faith to pray: You must believe in God, you must believe that God hears prayers, and you must believe that somehow prayer makes a difference. But you don't need a whole bunch of faith. In fact, some teachers of prayer have challenged the skeptical with this: ''Pray every day for 30 days straight, acting as if God exists." That's pretty minimal faith, but it is surprising to hear of the number of skeptics who, for the first time in their lives, become aware of God's presence as a result of this little one-month experiment. Jesus spoke often about having faith the size of a mustard seedwhich, by the way, is pretty darn small: A few thousand would fit in the palm of your hand. Nonetheless, Jesus said even this much faith could work wonders. He once told his disciples, "I assure you, even if you had faith as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move" (Matthew 17:20).


Now get this: If mustard-seed faith is mature and powerful enough faith to move mountains, then the amount of faith required to begin the life of prayer is microscopicmaybe the size of an amoeba. Maybe smaller.

No matter how small, this faith has to be focused in the right direction. We're not talking about faith in yourself: You don't have to be self-confident, assured, or floating on a cloud of high self-esteem.

We're also not talking about faith in prayer. Prayer is merely the means to a greater end, coming to know God.

And we're not talking about faith in faith. That's one of the craziest things people say: "It doesn't matter what you believe, as long as you believe." I don't think so. I don't really have a lot of confidence in someone who really believes the earth is flat. And I don't think it's possible just to have faith. There is always an object to faithalways. You either have faith in your own abilities to solve the problem, or you have faith that someone else will solve the problem, or you have faith in fate, that some impersonal force will work things out.

So, the faith that is necessary for prayer is faith in God, faith that he exists, and faith that he hears and responds to prayer.

When it comes to faith, Jesus says some remarkable (although some would say ridiculous) things, like this: "Listen to me! You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it" (Mark 11:24).

This and other sayings like it have led to a lot of misunderstandings. Some people think that faith must be some sort of self-talk or self-hypnotism that helps us feel more confident when we approach Godlike football players gathering on the sidelines before a game, arms wrapped around each other, chanting "Go, go, go, go. . . " or "Let's do it!" or whatever. They bounce up and down, work themselves into a mild frenzy of enthusiasm, and then head for the field full of faith in their ability to annihilate the opponent.

That is not what Jesus was talking about.

Some people have turned this statement into a magic formula for consumerism. They take it literally, and they encourage people to pray for a $500,000 home, or a new Lexus, or a vacation in Hawaii. Given that Jesus was pretty down on materialism, this is probably not his take on it.

Still others think this saying means that if we don't receive answers to our prayers, it's our own fault: We didn't have enough faith.

Uh, let's think about that one. Jesus himself, the man of perfect faith, prayed that he would be spared from having to die on the cross. God didn't answer his prayer, but I don't think it has much to do with Jesus' faith or lack thereof. (More on unanswered prayers in topic "Dealing with Doubts: No Answers.")

So what type of faith is Jesus talking about here? In this instance, it is special faith indeed, a special gift from God. Let me give an illustration. When I was in youth ministry at a church in Fresno, California, we decided that we wanted to raise some money to help alleviate hunger. We were debating about how much we should set as a goal, and we were throwing around the numbers we usually shot for$200, $300, in that range. Then we decided to pray about it and see whether we could sense what God might have us do. We spent some time in prayerand a lot of it listening in prayer. When we ended the prayer, I asked what numbers came into people's mind. For more than one of us, it was $2,000.

Well, this was an unimaginable amount to us, but we felt confident that this wasthe figure planted in our minds by the Holy Spirit. We began making plans on howwe were going to raise that type of money. Well, one thing led to another, and we organized a marathon week-long softball game; we got pledges from the church and community, donations from local businesses, and players who played in 12-hour shifts, morning and night. At the end of the week, we stood proudly on the field as we had our picture taken after our triumph. Then we counted the pledges. We'd made our goal plus some.


Certainly this sort of thing can be "explained" on a number of levels, but all those who participated had a deep sense that we had been given a special gift of faithwhat was for us a large amount of faithto pray for and work for a large goal. It was a special moment for all of us, certainly for me.

It's not often in my life that I get a sense that if I pray for something, it will come to pass, even if it seems absurd at the time. Sometimes it turns out to be wishful thinking, not something given by God. Other times, it has proven to be a divine gift. There is no formula for knowing when something comes from God. But part of faith is trying to listen, acting on what you sense is true, and trusting God for the results. It's not so much a puzzle to be solved, but an adventure to be lived out.

But let's be clear that, most of the time, adventure requires the simple faith: God exists and he hears prayer.

2 Honesty

You can't fool God, though a lot of us try. The good news is that we don't even have to try.

Some people imagine that they must bring their very best selves to God. Let's say that Joe is resentful of his brother, Tom, who has just made a killing in the stock market the same day Joe has lost a lot of money. Joe, trying to be a good Christian, prays, "Lord, I'm thankful that my brother made a lot of money in the stock market. Please bless him and help him use his money wisely."

This is a noble prayer, but it's a lie. What Joe is really feeling is that his brother is a jerk, that he always gets lucky, and that it's not fair that Tom, who already had a lot of money, should hit it big in the stock market when he, Joe, could really use the extra income.

But let's say Joe is reasonably honest. He might pray, "Lord, I admit I'm jealous of Tom. Help me to rid myself of this jealousy, and bless Tom and his family."

That's better, but still not exactly what Joe is feeling. Probably the most honest prayer would be, "Lord, I hate Tom right now. And to be frank, I'm not too happy with you.

Why should he get another break? And why didn't you give me a break? I'm the one who needs it. This is pretty unfair."

Now we're praying, because prayer is an honest expression of our hopes, dreams, fears, and wants to God. It isn't as if God doesn't know what we're really feeling, as if we can hide our true feelings from him. So why not just lay everything on the table?

This type of honesty is found throughout the history of prayer, and the Bible is full of expressions of it. One of my favorite is in the obscure little Old Testament book of Habakkuk, which begins like this:

"How long, O Lord, must I call for help? Butyou do not listen! 'Violence!' I cry, but you donot come to save. Must I forever see this sinand misery all around me?" (Habakkuk 1:23)

Habakkuk is not a happy camper: His nation is increasingly corrupt and violent, and he has been praying about it for years. But things are only getting worse. It's only natural that he'd get ticked off. And it's only honest that he tell God what he's feeling instead of praying some pious prayer.


Jeremiah is another whiner to God. At one point he says to God, "Lord, you know I am suffering for your sake. Punish my persecutors! Don't let them kill me! Be merciful to me and give them what they deserve!" (Jeremiah 15:15). Not very nice, and at some point Jeremiah had to move to higher moral ground. But the refreshing thing about him and all the biblical prayers (especially in Psalms) is their utter honesty before God. Age after age has discovered that when it comes to prayer, honesty is the best policy.

3 Humility

Humility has gotten bad press in our day. To many, it means to grovel before others or never to say anything good about yourself. To some, it's the same as low self-esteem.

Not quite. To be humble is not to have a high or low view of yourself, but to have an accurate view. In terms of prayer, it means to have an accurate view of yourself in relation to God. That is, you must essentially say: God is great, good, holy, just, wise, eternal, all powerfuland I am not.

This may strike some as obvious, but it isn't so obvious in day-to-day life. I'm upset with my wife, let's say, for forgetting to be home at 6:00 to watch the kids while I go to an appointment. It's closing in on 6:30, and she's still not home. I'm furious by now, and I have a mouthful of venom to spew at her when she walks in the doorshe's always inconsiderate; this is going to ruin my meeting; how could she be so self-centered, and so on and so forth.

The entire time, though, I haven't prayed. I've acted as if I'm good, holy, just, and wisenot only toward my wife, but also toward God because I haven't thought him worth consulting in this matter. I know what's going on, and I know what needs to be said when she walks through the door.

Of course, when it turns out that, uh, I never told my wife that I needed her home at 6:00, I feel pretty humbled. Feeling stupid is not the main issue, though: It's living my life as if I didn't need the patience and wisdom that come from God.

So, humility in prayer means simply recognizing from where our strength comes and then seeking God for it. You can see why this is a prerequisite of prayer: If you're not humble enough to admit that you have any needsnot even a need for Godthen you're probably not going to pray.

Humility has another dimension as well. To enter into a life of prayer means to be willing to enter into an experiment of sorts, but the experiment is unlike any other. By their nature, scientific experiments put us in control. We mix the chemicals, we perform tests, and then we analyze the results. To enter into prayer, however, is to put ourselves into another's control. It is to allow ourselves to be shaped, tested, and analyzed by another.

In this regard, the most important prayer we can pray is the one Jesus prayed the last night of his life. He was sure he was heading toward his execution. He had prayed until he sweat blood to avoid death. But in the end, he simply said, "Yet I want your will, not mine" (Mark 14:36).

As theologian Donald Bloesch put it, "There is a time to argue and complain to God, but there is also a time to submit."

The one thing we can be pretty sure of is that God is not going to ask us literally to give up our lives when we begin the life of prayer. But he is asking us to take the first step in a lifetime of giving control of our lives over to him.

For me, it's like going on a roller coaster. Whenever I sit in one, I realize I'm putting my life in the hands of a lot of other people: the designer of the roller coaster, the maintenance crew, the operators. For me, that's a scary proposition.

But it's also a heck of a lot of fun, with a number of jerks and drops along the way. Prayer is not much different a lot of the time. It doesn't require a huge amount of humility to beginjust enough to buy a ticket and stand in line at first. But that's enough to get you started on this adventure.

In his classic book Prayer,Ole Hallesby summed it up this way: "Prayer and helplessness are inseparable. Only he who is helpless can truly pray. Your helplessness is your best prayer."

4 Patience

Scott Peck begins his best-selling book The Road Less Traveled with this: "Life is hard." I could have begun this book with a similar sentence: "Prayer is hard." Don't let anyone tell you different.

Okay, I admit that I just got done telling you it is different: I've said it was "fun" and an "adventure" and a bunch of other stuff to get you to consider taking prayer more seriously. I'm not saying those things are not true. I'm just about to explain to you the fine print.

Prayer is hard work a lot of times. Sometimes it's so boring that you'll fall asleep. Sometimes it feels like God isn't there. Sometimes no prayer you pray will be answered. Sometimes you will feel that God has abandoned you. You will doubt prayer and God and everything else. You'll be sure you've been hoodwinked into prayer. You'll scorn people who pray, calling them fools. You'll never want to say another prayer the rest of your life.


And then you'll find that you really can't live without prayer. And however angry, bored, or doubting, you'll turn to God and say, "Okay, let's give this another try."

In other words, if you're going to enter into a life of prayer, you'll have to have patience. If Rome wasn't built in a day, a meaningful prayer life isn't built in a week or a monthor a lifetime. Let's just say that like any other serious endeavor, you will always feel you could know more, be doing more, or be experiencing more. It's like marriage. I've been married for 25 years now, and I love my wife more than ever. I believe I'm a better husband than ever and that our relationship is better than ever.

Are my wife and I satisfied with our relationship, though? No. Do we want it to be better? Yes. Do we feel like taking the trouble to make it better? Not all the time. Is it an adventure, fun, hard work, dreary, joyful, frustrating, or satisfying? Yes.

Such is a life of prayer with God, as long as patience is part of the picture.

With a Little Help from the Friend

A difference between prayer and all other pursuits is this: The very thing we need to embark on a life of prayer and then continue in it comes through the activity itself. When you take up golf, let's say, you know you're going to need a lot of patience to play it well. But golf itself does not grant you patienceit only tries your patience. Patience must come from somewhere else.

But if you need more patience in prayer, you can simply use that very means to gain the patience you need. Faith, honesty, humility, and patience are not only prerequisites of prayer, but they also are qualities that can be sought and received in prayer. And Jesus promises gifts such as these: "You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it" (Mark 11:24).


A story from the Gospels (Mark 9:1429) shows this dynamic in action. Jesus was speaking with a man whose son had epilepsy. The man had brought his son to Jesus, only to have the boy fall to the ground "in violent convulsions, writhing and foaming at the mouth." Jesus asked the father, "How long has this been happening?"

The man replied, "Since he was very small. The evil spirit [thought to be the cause of epilepsy in that day] often makes him fall into the fire or into water, trying to kill him. Have mercy on us and help us. Do something if you can."

That was a weak prayer, if you ask me. Jesus seems to agree: "What do you mean, 'If I can'?" he replied. "Anything is possible if a person believes."


The father then blurted out, "I do believe. Help my unbelief!" And Jesus then healed the boy.

Here was a man who had the minimum prerequisite of faith: He believed there was at least a small chance that Jesus could do something to help his boy. He had faith, but he needed more.

That is also the case with the other prerequisites of prayer, and we need a prayer to help us through a lifetime of prayer:

Lord, I come in faith; help my unbelief. Lord, I come in truth; forgive my dishonesty.Lord, I come in humility; rid me of pride.Lord, I come with patience, but not enough. Amen.