DEALING WITH DOUBTS

Dealing with Doubts:No Answers


If the life of prayer is made difficult by distractions, it can be completely destroyed by doubts. Doubts begin pestering us early on in prayer, and they come to us in a variety of ways. When we get to the heart of doubt, though, there are really only two questions we're asking. The first is: "Why doesn't God answer many of our prayers?"

The Contradiction

On the one hand, the Bible is full of great promises about prayer, most of them coming from the lips of Jesus himself:

"Keep on asking and you will be given what you ask for" (Matthew 7:7). "If two of you agree down here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you" (Matthew 18:19). "Listen to me! You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it" (Mark 11:24).

The apostle James, though, put it most bluntly: "The reason you don't have what you want is that you don't ask God for it" (James 4:2).

And then you have all those wonderful examples of answered prayer: Moses prays for deliverance from Egypt, and it's done. King David prays for victory over his enemies, and it happens. Jesus prays that Lazarus will rise from the dead, and here comes Lazarus out of his tomb. And so on.


If that were the end of the story, however, the Bible would not be a very interesting book. The Bible never gives a promise without at the same time being brutally honest about the way life works. And the way life works sometimes is this: Prayers are not always answered.

"Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer" (Psalm 22:2). "I cry to you, O God, but you don't answer me. I stand before you, and you don't bother to look" (Job 20:30). "How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen!" (Habakkuk 1:2)

And then you have these depressing examples: Paul prays that a "thorn in his flesh" will be taken away, but it never is. Jesus prays that he will not have to face the cross, but he ends up there anyway. And so on.

This is the contradictory nature of our experience in prayer. There are times when prayer almost seems magical: We ask and we receive. But there are other times when every one of our requests is met with heavenly silence. When that happens, it can easily discourage us and tempt us to abandon prayer.

Rather than give up, however, we are wise to think about what this divine silence might mean. In exploring that, we may end up with a richer prayer life.

The Answer Would Cause More Problems Than It Would Solve

The poet Longfellow once said, "What discord we should bring into the universe if our prayers were all answered! Then we should govern the world and not God."

I'll admit there are times I imagine I could run the universe better than God it does appear to be mismanaged at times. Then again, I know what a mess I've made of my life.

One petty example will suffice: I'm anxious to have a friend over for dinner so anxious that I pick the first available opening in his and my schedule. That means a dinner that starts at 8:00 on Thursday night. Not a problem, except that I have to get up at 3:00 on Friday morning. So not only does the dinner feel rushed, but the next day I'm exhausted. And I won't even tell you about some of the biggest life decisions I've blown.

Rather than me running the universe, then, I'm wise to let God decide which prayers to answer. Sometimes it's clear in retrospect that it's better they weren't answered. I remember interviewing for a church in San Pedro, a suburb of Los Angeles. I liked the senior pastor, and the church and setting sounded great. I prayed to get the job, but I didn't even make it past the initial interview. Naturally I was disappointed until another job offer came my way to serve in a church in Mexico City. Speaking from a purely selfish point of view (what the job did for me), it was a much better fit and a much better experience. I'm glad my prayer wasn't answered regarding the church in San Pedro.

It's Not the Right Time

Sometimes silence means "Wait." My daughter recently asked me if she could watch a certain television show. I thought about my 10-year old, and I thought about the show (decidedly adult in nature), and said no. What I really meant was "Wait. In a few years, you'll be old enough to handle such a show. Until then, you'll have to watch something else."


In the same way, some of our prayers are not answered because we're not ready for them to be answered. This can be a great comfort when you're really anxious.

When I was in college, I recall feeling a great amount of pressure about some matter (which says something about how ultimately important it was today I can't remember exactly the reason!). I became so upset about it that one evening at dinner, I found myself getting irritated with a friend, snapping at him, and bolting up from the table in disgust.

I went to my room and opened my Bible to see if I could find some guidance in the matter. What my Bible opened to was this: "Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord" (Psalm 27:14).

I felt as though God was speaking to me personally, and the tension inside me released. I realized that it wasn't the right time for the issue to be resolved; instead I was required to wait.

We're Getting in the Way

Sometimes we don't hear from the Lord because we've created so much spiritual noise within us that we can't hear God speaking to us. The Bible calls this "sin" and recognizes that it is a common problem when it comes to prayer.


The Psalmist put it this way: "If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, my Lord would not have listened" (Psalm 66:18). It's not that God won't listen to us if we don't confess every sin. That's impossible, because we're not even aware of all the ways we fail before God. Nor is it true that God turns away from us in disgust until we say we're sorry. God is a little bigger than that.

But there is a dynamic at work that must be respected if we want to have functioning prayer lives. I can't go before God harboring some sin cheating on taxes, or carrying on an affair, or refusing to forgive a friend, or whatever and expect that I can have a healthy relationship with God. It ain't gonna happen, as they say. I have to allow God to cleanse my heart and my life before I'm going to have a meaningful prayer life again.

Sometimes sin has a much more direct effect on prayer. The apostle James said, "Even when you do ask [in prayer], you don't get it because your whole motive is wrong you want only what will give you pleasure." If we treat God as Santa Claus, we can expect to hear a lot of silence.

This does not mean that we cannot ask God for anything that would give us pleasure. We can pray to enjoy a fine meal, good sex, a sunny day, a good book and so on. But the motive cannot be a greedy grabbing for hedonistic pleasure; it must be a simple desire to enjoy God's good gifts. What's more, it must always be in the context of God's will so that when the answer is no, we don't pout, but simply move on to what God would have us do next.


Prayer Is Only Part of the Answer

Sometimes no answer means that God's part is only part of the answer. The other part of the answer must be supplied by us.

Prayer is not a substitute for action. Let's say I pray that a friend, who just lost her husband, might be comforted in her grief. But maybe part of that answer requires my doing some jobs that her husband normally did: mowing the lawn, changing the oil in the car, and so on.

Along the same lines, my son prays that he might do well on the SAT. The answer to that prayer, however, has a great deal to do with the amount of time he studies.

You get the idea. But some get the wrong idea: They think that prayer is useless and what really matters is their own action. A lot of people who don't pray do well on the SAT, after all.


Yes, and a lot of people go through life alone, but that doesn't mean it's the best way to do it. God may not miraculously give my son answers when he takes the SAT, but to know that as he takes the test God is present, and to know that God is working in and through my son's experience, wisdom, and knowledge, through his body and mind it lifts the whole experience to a different dimension. This is what prayer is meant to do: to help us see that our mundane lives are not so mundane, that we do, in fact, live in a different dimension than our five senses reveal.

Prayer is not a substitute for action, but neither is action a substitute for prayer. As the old saying goes, "Pray as if everything depended on God; act as if everything depended on you."

The Real Answer Lies Deeper

Sometimes no answer means that a better answer is on its way or has already arrived.

When I became pastor of my own church, I had visions of glory for the church and for myself. I was going to make that little church (150 members) a growing, dynamic congregation that impacted the city (Sacramento) for Christ. I had dreams of a large Sunday school program, an active youth program, ministries to families, outreach to the poor, and so on. And I prayed that God might make it so.

He didn't. At the end of six years of ministry, we still had a congregation of 150, and we still "muddled along." I can take a lot of the "blame" for that I simply didn't have the gifts to lead the church as my dreams dictated.


On the other hand, I learned that our little congregation was, in fact, impacting the city of Sacramento. Our members were bringing the love and grace of Christ to neighbors and friends simply by being good neighbors and caring friends. And we were ministering to many families who found life in a small church much more to their liking. What I learned was that it wasn't size or programs that made a church, but people who loved God and cared for one another. And that was a much better answer to my prayer than if the church had tripled in size.

There is no better way to sum up this idea than to quote the famous prayer of an unknown Confederate soldier:

I asked for strength, that I might achieve;I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health, that I might do greater things;I was given infirmity, that I might do better things. I asked for riches, that I might be happy;I was given poverty, that I might be wise. I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;I was given weakness, that I might feel the need for God. I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;

I was given life, that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I had asked for, but everything that I had hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered;I am, among all men, most richly blessed.