HANDLING THE SEVEN DISTRACTIONS

Handling the Seven Distractions


If it's easy to get started in prayer, then it's also easy to get distracted during prayer. This is true of any new habit we're seeking to form, but it is especially true of prayer. We're trying to engage in an activity that can transcend normal human experience, and yet human nature keeps getting in the way. Here are seven common distractions of prayer and how to deal with them.

"My Mind Wanders"

The most common distraction is the wandering mind. You start to pray, let's say, about your 10-year-old who just started school, and as you do, you remember how hard it was when you started fifth grade when your family moved to Chicago. But you also remember that your dad took you to a Cubs games in late September that year, and you liked the Cubs right away, and you wish Ron Santo were still playing because he was a better player than he is a radio announcer. That reminds you that the car radio needs to be taken in to be repaired, but you think you're going to try someone else this time, because the last time. . . .

And then you remember that you're supposed to be praying, but by this time you can't remember where you were.

In one way, it's surprising that our minds so easily wander. Prayer is conversation with God, after all. You'd think there would be nothing more interesting than talking with the creator of heaven and earth. And yet, though we can stay riveted on a cheap novel for hours, we can't give more than a minute to spiritual things without our minds wandering.

When we're distracted repeatedly during the same prayer time, and when this happens day after day, we're tempted to give up. But if we can put this in perspective, we won't get so easily discouraged.

First, when it comes to any activity that demands a lot of the mind, we get easily distracted. I try to stitch into my reading routine a "blast from the past" once in a while, anything from Plato's Republic to Dostoevski's Crime and Punishment. Invariably, there are passages where the mind just doesn't want to stay focused. That's because it's being challenged; just like a muscle resists when first being asked to lift a weight, so the mind resists when it faces a new challenge.

Second, the wandering mind is a problem for beginners and experienced prayers alike. John Bunyan, who wrote the spiritual classic Pilgrim's Progress, articulated this frustration as well as anyone: "None knows how many by-ways the heart hath and back lanes to slip away from the presence of God." The biography of every spiritual giant contains lines like these.


Third, the wandering mind is a problem intrinsic to prayer. We are required to engage our entire humanity heart, mind, soul, and strength in prayer. We are told to bring to God all our cares and concerns, all our thoughts and questions. When we're in his presence especially if we feel comfortable in God's presence we are going to tend to wander over landscape that is important to us. Prayer is not a rigid routine we practice in the presence of a bureaucratic God who wishes that our prayers would be more orderly. It is a conversation and a messy one, at that with someone we love and who loves us.

It is this insight that can give us a practical way to deal with the wandering mind. Our temptation after a bit of wandering is to abruptly halt, mentally chastise ourselves, and get back to "real" prayer. Instead, we might simply admit that our minds have wandered into an area that, in fact, really interests us that’s where the mind usually goes, after all. As such, instead of casting it out of our prayer, we can incorporate that wandering, and even use it to take us back to what we began praying about in the first place. Taking the example above, I might do this:

" . . .that reminds me, I need to take in the car radio to be repaired, but I need to take it to someone else, because last time that jerk at Robinson's Car Stereo . . . Oops! Where was I, Lord? Okay, I pray for my attitude toward that guy; it's obvious that I'm still angry with him. Forgive me, and help me to forgive him. I do love the simple pleasure of listening to the radio while I drive, and I thank you for such good gifts like the game of baseball, which is really a silly sport in a lot of ways, but for some reason it brings me great pleasure. Thank you for that. And that first year in Chicago well, it was difficult, though my dad really helped me get through it. Help me to be a good father to my daughter when I get home this evening, especially because this is her first day at a new school."

This is where complete honesty in prayer is vital. We may put ourselves into a pious mood and try to pray about others and about spiritual things, but when our minds keep wandering back to our own concerns and "petty" things, there's no sense in trying to fool God. Our mind wanders to those things that really are important to us. We might as well admit that and make them a part of our prayer. We may wish that we weren't so selfish and petty, but the fact is, we are sometimes. And that frustration, too, can become a topic of prayer.

"I'm Bored"

There are many reasons we might find ourselves bored in or with prayer, and the first thing to do when bored is to try to find the source of our boredom.

We may simply be stuck in the rut of routine same thing, same way, every day. The solution for this, of course, is simple: Do something different. This may include one of the following ideas:

· Pray during a different time of the day.

· Change locations.

· Try different postures.

· Change the order of your routine.

· Change the book you're reading.

· Try different styles of prayer.

Then again, boredom may not be so simple. Sometimes we're bored precisely because the book we're reading or the prayer routine we're trying is challenging us to go deeper. Let's say I've just added praise and adoration to my prayer routine, but I find praising and adoring God pretty boring. It may be that I'm bored because, well, I'm ungrateful. I just don't care about God's greatness as much as my day-to-day life.

The solution here is two-fold. First, I must admit to God my lousy attitude. Second, I must continue my routine right through the boredom until some of my ungratefulness is cured.

Finally, boredom may be the product of sheer selfishness. I may be seeking some experience in prayer, or I may be demanding that prayer do something for me; when it doesn't do that immediately, I become bored. I may be approaching prayer as I do a television show: If it doesn't hook me in a couple of minutes, I flip channels.

When this is the case, I find it helpful to remind myself that prayer is not about me. Though I'm going through a time when prayer seems to be doing nothing for me, I can still be praying for others. And there isn't a time when those I love don't need prayer: Right now, I have teenage children who are trying to figure out adolescence, a wife who is trying to fulfill the demands of both work and home, a friend who is struggling to figure out what he's supposed to do with his life, another who has cancer and on it goes. To deny them my prayers because I'm bored well, I may be selfish, but I hope I'm not that selfish (all right sometimes I am).

While we're on the subject, let's examine this business about prayer not seeming to do anything for us. We do well to remind ourselves that many experiences in life don't appear to be doing anything for us when they are actually changing us profoundly. School is just such an experience. It was a rare day growing up when I'd come from school and feel as if I'd learned something new. It all seemed so routine and boring; so much of it was stuff I already knew or so I thought.

And yet, by the time I finished sixth grade, I knew a heck of a lot more than I did when I entered kindergarten. When exactly that happened is hard to say. But all the time I thought school wasn't doing anything for me, it was doing a whole lot. The school of prayer is very much like that.

"I Feel Restless"

I get into moods when prayer seems like such a waste of time. I'd rather be getting something done: write another chapter, fix the drip in the kitchen sink, wax my car, prepare a flower bed. I'm a person who likes to stay busy, and I get a great deal of satisfaction from accomplishing things. When I am overtaken with this spirit, I find it very difficult to sit down to pray because a lot of the time prayer doesn't feel very "useful."


In such moods, I probably need to pray more than ever. Work has a way of filling the time allotted to it. There is always more to be done, and if I let my to-do list run my life, it will run my life right into the ground. If man does not live by bread alone, neither does he live by work alone.

This is why God created the Sabbath one day a week in which work is discouraged and worship and play and relationships are encouraged. This is not just a divine suggestion, but one of the Ten Commandments: "Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy." That was written for accomplishment junkies like me.

The reasoning behind the commandment is probably the most interesting part of it: "Six days a week are set apart for your daily duties and regular work, but the seventh day is a day of rest, dedicated to the Lord, your God. . . . For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; then he rested on the seventh day" (Exodus 20:11). If it's good enough for the Lord, it ought to be good enough for me.


Prayer is a mini-Sabbath stuck into our daily routines. It's a time to step back from activity, thank God for the goodness of life, pray for others, and put our own lives in perspective. If I don't have time for that, I'm way too busy.

"I Don't Know What to Pray For"

Writers get writer's block. Prayers get prayer's block. Some days I bow my head and my mind goes completely blank. I just can't think of anything to pray.

Fortunately, the problem is easily cured. One of four methods works for me:

1. Pray about it. I start praying about the fact that I don't know what to prayer for, about my frustration, boredom, and so on.

2. Start reading. I stop praying and pick up my Bible or devotional material and just start reading. This gets my mind focused on things spiritual, and soon it starts me thinking about areas in my own life that need attention; it may also get me thinking about others' needs as well.

3. Journal. When my mind goes blank, I put my pen to work. I start entering my thoughts into my journal, even if I have to begin with: "Lord, I don't know what to pray for. I don't know why I go through periods like this. . . ."

4. Create a prayer list. Here's one adapted from Chapter 10, "ACTS Now":

· Immediate family

· Extended family

· Neighbors and friends

· Coworkers

· People in groups you belong to (church, running club, online chat room)

· The poor and needy

· Your community, the nation

"I'm in a Bad Mood"

Sometimes I come to prayer irritated. I'm feeling rushed or angry or just out of sorts I’m certainly not in any mood to pray. Two courses of action present themselves immediately:

1. Don't pray. Sometimes I just need time to settle down. I walk into the house some evenings pretty grumpy. I'd like to be able to talk with my wife and children, but if I do, I just start snapping at them. It's better if they just leave me alone for a few minutes until my equilibrium is restored.

In terms of prayer, sometimes it's wise to simply sit for a few moments, have a cup of coffee, remind myself why I pray, and figure out what's bugging me before I enter into prayer.

2. Make the bad mood part of your prayer. You probably guessed this one, because by now you've seen that it is a pretty standard way I attack problems in prayer. I just cannot emphasize too strongly that prayer is not about getting into some pious state of mind or having some euphoric spiritual experience. It's about an honest conversation with God. It's about getting in touch with who we are at any given moment the good, the bad, and the ugly and expressing that to God.


"I Disagree with What I'm Reading"

Good. It means you're reading material that doesn't merely reinforce your current thinking. Prayer is meant to stretch us, and the material we choose to read should do the same. The Bible is notorious for busting our myths about the way life works, which is one reason reading it is standard issue in a prayer routine.


When I find myself disagreeing, I ask myself some questions to discover the source:

· Do I disagree because I'm being asked to change some behavior I enjoy? Should I change?

· Do I disagree because I can't buy into this concept of God? If so, why not?

· Do I disagree because life doesn't work that way in my experience? Should I broaden my understanding?

· Do I disagree because it doesn't agree with what the Bible teaches? Or, does it at a deeper level?

You get the idea. I don't feel right simply dismissing the passage, because one purpose of prayer is to expand my heart and mind. That usually involves the uncomfortable process of confronting opinions and ideas that don't seem right to me. As you can imagine, a lot of the "dumb" ideas of others turn out to be pretty wise.

Wisdom and common sense is called for here, of course. You shouldn't blindly trust every prayer you read and every devotional book you study not even this one. If you do find yourself uncomfortable with a passage or idea, you should first see how it stacks up against the teachings of Jesus, Paul, and the other biblical teachers. Yes, a lot of times the most uncomfortable ideas come from these very biblical writers. ("Love your enemies"!?) Then again, a lot of spiritual advice is plainly unbiblical (for example, "If you give money to God, you'll get more in return!"), and it should simply be ignored.

"I Just Can't Pray Certain Prayers or Use Certain Expressions"

Then don't. Pray in a way that allows you to be sincere.

Then again, I sometimes wonder if I should continue to pray those uncomfortable prayers. If prayer is about stretching the spiritual self, maybe I should practice calling God ''Father" or using a prayer that says I'm a "miserable sinner." Perhaps expressions such as these precisely because they irk me speak about areas in my life where I most need to grow.

Or, perhaps I should explore the prayer or the expression that troubles me, asking the same sort of questions I'd ask of a passage that I disagree with.

Or you guessed it perhaps I should make this stumbling block a part of my prayer. "Lord, this prayer I just prayed says, 'To you all angels . . . cherubim and seraphim, sing in endless praise.' The phrase means absolutely nothing to me, and I don't even know if I believe in angels. Lord, are there angels? And if there are, what is their purpose? Help me to understand what I'm to understand by this phrase."

Remember that prayer is a conversation with God about the real things going on inside us. That includes the myriad of concerns and problems that distract us from prayer. Co-opt your distractions, and put them to good use: Pray about them and pray through them.