Saturday, December 13, 2008
SENSUAL PRAYER
Sensual Prayer
We've already talked about the difference posture and setting can make in prayer. In addition, many people of prayer have discovered that when they employ all their senses in praying, the act of prayer can be a richer experience.
How It Works
It seems only natural that when you want to pray with some seriousness, you find a quiet place and shut your eyes that is, you try to disengage the two most active senses of sight and sound to focus on God. There are many prayers who find this the most meaningful way to pray.
Yet another approach has a long history as well. In this one, prayers go to some quiet place to get away from the usual sights and sounds that bombard them, but only to re-engage the senses in a new task and redirect them to a new focus.
God has created us as both as spiritual and as physical beings, and he has created a physical place in which we live. He also has given us five means to navigate his creation: sight, smell, hearing, touch, and taste. When someone is not able to use one of these senses, we say he is "handicapped “or "impaired" or ''challenged." Some prayers may be handicapping themselves because they are unaware of or deliberately avoid engaging all their senses in prayer.
To put it more positively, many prayers have found that when they engage all their senses in prayers, their prayer lives take on new meaning. Over the centuries, the use of certain objects in prayer has helped them engage their senses.
Crucifix/Cross
The cross has been a symbol in many religions. Egyptians thought the tau cross (which looks like a capital "T") represented life. For the ancient Greeks, the four points of the cross represented earth, air, water, and fire what they believed were the four eternal elements.
But today in the West, the cross is associated with Christianity, and it is its most popular symbol, by far. This is surprising when you think about it. The cross was an instrument of torture and death in the Roman Empire, the equivalent to our electric chair. Perhaps if Jesus would have been executed in an electric chair, Christians would display electric chairs in churches and hang them around their necks.
Though the gruesomeness of crucifixion is nearly forgotten, the fact of Christ's death has not been. For Christians, that death has multiple meanings.
It shows God's love: "God so loved the world," says one biblical writer, "that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).
It shows grace: "While we were utterly helpless, sinners, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners" (Romans 5:6).
It shows God's paradoxical wisdom and power. The apostle Paul once explained it this way: "When we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended and the Gentiles say it's all nonsense. But to those called by God to salvation, both Jews and Gentiles, Christ is the mighty power of God and the wonderful wisdom of God. This 'foolish' plan of God is far wiser than the wisest human plans, and God's weakness is far stronger than the greatest human strength" (1 Corinthians 1:2325).
When it comes to the cross, on it goes, ad infinitum. It might be fair to say that every book written about the Christian faith has, in some sense, been an attempt to understand the meaning of the cross. This cross transcends human understanding, and thus it has become a key symbol of prayer.
You'll find crosses in two basic forms. The crucifix is a cross with Jesus hanging on it, designed to remind us of the sufferings of Christ on our behalf. The empty cross, though also acknowledging Christ's death, is said to recall his conquering death through his resurrection.
On top of that, you'll see a variety of patterns. Entire books are devoted to showing that variety, but here let me simply look at three:
· The Latin Cross: Simple and elegant, it is the cross in its most basic form. This is the cross you'll see more than any other.
· The Celtic Cross: Today Presbyterians think of this as their cross, but it was first used by Celtic Christians in Ireland, starting in the A.D. 500s to 600s. The circle in the middle is said to represent the earth, with Christ having authority over the whole world. It also represents the sun, as a circle of light, and therefore Christ as the light of the world. As a circle, a figure without beginning or end, it also signifies eternity.
· The Jerusalem Cross: Like most symbols, the four crosses within a cross can represent a variety of things: the four corners of the earth and Jesus' sacrifice for the whole world; the four Gospels; and so on.
And on it goes. Some books contain outlines of as many as 60 different styles of crosses, each with its own history and symbolism.
Candles
Candles have been a regular part of prayer in many religions for many centuries. The practice may have begun merely as a means to bring light to a darkened sanctuary, but it soon became a powerful symbol of hope. Though we have incandescent bulbs to light our way these days, candles remain an important element in worship and prayer the gentle flickering, the shape and color of the flame, and the soft light all lend themselves to a prayerful mood.
In Christian circles, candles represent Christ as the light of the world, the one who brings light into our spiritual darkness. Candles are also lit as a prayer, especially before shrines or in memory of someone who has died: The idea is that, though our words and body may cease praying, the candle continues to burn as a kind of ongoing prayer. In another sense, the candle continues to burn until it burns out as a symbol of our desire to give ourselves fully to Christ until we die.
Many people set up candles where they pray each day. Sometimes it's a single candle, sometimes two, or three, or seven. Nearly every number has some sort of symbolism, though in practice the numeric symbol seems to be less important than the power of the light itself.
Incense
So far we've been talking about objects that affect sight: This is one that affects the sense of smell as well. The burning of incense has been a feature of religious ceremonies since ancient times. It is mentioned as early as 1530 B.C. on an inscribed tablet near the Sphinx at Giza, Egypt, and it was used in early Jewish religion and later by the Romans, in both religious and civic ceremonies. In Christian circles, incense is widely used in Anglican, Roman Catholic, and Orthodox churches.
Some people burn incense in their homes as they pray. The rising smoke is a symbol of prayers going up to God, and the unique aroma tangibly sets a person in the context of prayer. In fact, the sense of smell is one of the most powerful at getting us to associate one thing with another. When I smell motor oil, for instance, my mind immediately conjures up images of working on my car. When I smell turkey cooking, I'm instantly transported to one of the many Thanksgiving Day get-togethers I've enjoyed. After you've experienced the use of incense in worship or prayer, you begin to become more prayerful when you inhale its aroma.
Icons
Though all manner of paintings, sculptures, woodcuts, and the like can be used to aid prayer, I'll mention here the type of image most associated with prayer: icons.
Icons are the special contribution of the Eastern Orthodox churches. The Orthodox believe that icons are not just human pictures or visual aids to contemplation and prayer. Icons are sometimes called "windows to heaven," or "witnesses of the presence of the kingdom of God to us, and so of our own presence to the kingdom of God in the church." That is, icons may help us see the reality of God more clearly in the here and now.
In terms of content, icons are depictions of biblical and church saints and angels. They are not meant to be realistic depictions of natural features but spiritual depictions that seek to illuminate the transcendent qualities of the subject. There are strict rules about creating icons (for example, they cannot be 3D because that might tempt the viewer to think of icons as an attempt at physical realism, or as mere paintings).
Though icons are not just aids to prayer, they are at least that. It's not that people pray to them, but through them. By focusing on the saint and his or her spiritual qualities, we can be transported to that which lies beyond the saint namely, God.
Prayer and Fasting
Fasting is not an object, but it does involve the senses and thus deserves attention here. Fasting is the practice of abstaining from food to dedicate yourself to a particular end. As a temporary denial of the senses, it paradoxically accents those senses and thus helps us enter into prayer more deeply.
Fasting serves a variety of purposes: It's a form of self-denial. It reminds us of the suffering of others and of Christ. It helps us appreciate not only food, but all of God's gifts. In and of itself, however, fasting has also helped many people experience more intimacy with God.
Skeptics chalk this up to delusion brought on by lack of sustenance, but those who have actually had the experience know otherwise. I remember one prayer time in particular that came after a day-long fast. As I went into prayer, I felt God's presence as tangibly as I feel the chair I'm sitting on now. I've fasted enough to know the difference between hunger that toys with my emotional state and the presence of something beyond emotion.
There are all manner of fasts, from skipping one meal to not eating for a week. Usually when people fast, it is for one day. That usually means three meals in a 24-hour period: That can mean eating dinner one night, but not breakfast or lunch the next day, and only having dinner after 24 hours is up. Or, it can mean simply skipping breakfast, lunch, and dinner one day and not eating until the next. Some fast by only eschewing solid food: They feel free to drink fruit juices during the day to keep up their energy.
There are no hard and fast (excuse the pun) rules here. The point is to put yourself in a state of self-denial so that at various times of the day, your body reminds you what you're doing. Every time you feel hungry, it is an opportunity to pray, as is the time you would normally spend eating.
Odds and Ends
The above are the most common and traditional aids to Christian prayer, but they hardly limit what can be done. In one worship service, we each received a nail, and we used that during prayer to remind us of Christ's crucifixion. Certainly music can help deepen prayer. We are limited only by our fortitude: To remind themselves of Christ's death and their own mortality, many medieval saints meditated on skulls!
Then again, you may not be a tactile person, and the whole idea of using anything physical to pursue the spiritual just seems like a big distraction. You have a strong tradition behind you. But so do those who feel that they have to employ as many senses as possible to fully enter into prayer.
Well, it doesn't have to be an either/or situation. We can pray for healing and go see a doctor. Yes, most of the time God heals through natural means, through the work of able physicians and through the body's healing capacity. But sometimes God goes beyond natural means to bring healing, even today.
Another common doubt is this: Sometimes we're tempted to think that prayers for healing are nothing more than a form of positive thinking, of visualizing. In other words, we might think that prayer is psychologically useful, but not necessarily spiritually powerful.
Again, it's not a matter of either/or. Of course, prayer is psychologically powerful. After all, God has created us in such a way that almost anything we do has a psychological affect on us. But in prayer, more than psychology is at work God is at work, too.
How can we "prove" this? Well, healing prayer is not subject to proof in a scientific sense. In fact, the most important things of life can't be "proved." For example, my wife loves me. Though there are lots of indications that this is true, none of them is absolute proof: She could be lying to me and putting on an act for some ulterior motive. Then again, I know she loves me, and I know that as surely as I know that I'm typing at a computer now.
Healing prayer works like that. You can't prove it, yet you know it's real. The only way to talk about it sensibly is through stories. Let me tell you about the experiences of two people, one who was healed physically and one who was healed emotionally. I picked them not because they are unusual, but because they are so typical. You'll find such stories in many Christian books and periodicals, including Guideposts (the source of the second story) and Christian Reader (the source of the first).
Physical Healing
As he sat in his Phoenix, Arizona, home in late November 1996 (the Tuesday before Thanksgiving), Rich Payton began shivering unexpectedly. Chills ran through his body so hard that his teeth rattled. Rich, an administrator of the Boys and Girls Clubs, thought to himself, "This is the worst possible time for me to be coming down with the flu."
It became increasingly clear, however, that the problem wasn't the flu: Rich didn't eat or sleep much for the next three days, and he began feeling pain in his right arm and left leg. When his right arm swelled and became hot and sensitive to touch, his wife, Heidi, rushed him to the emergency room.
After running tests, the doctor announced to Heidi that Rich had a rare disease, a group A strep bacteria called necrotising fascitis, also known as "flesh-eating" bacteria. This bacteria had already entered his bloodstream, and it was killing off muscle and heading toward his vital organs. If it reached them, he had no chance of survival. At it was, the mortality rate was 70 percent, despite aggressive treatment. In any event, his leg and arm would have to be amputated.
Doctors rushed him to the operating room and tried to clean out or "debride" the affected tissues. They stalled on the amputation as they became increasingly convinced that Rich's chances of survival were nil. They told Heidi to contact Rich's parents and to prepare for the worst.
For Heidi, preparing meant prayer not only her prayers, but those of friends and church members. For the next two weeks, she sat with her husband who was so drugged on morphine to kill the pain that he remembers little of that time and tried to encourage him. "Sleep sound in Jesus," she whispered, quoting a line from their daughter's favorite lullaby. Heidi struggled with grief, but her shock and mourning slowly turned to peace as she became assured that God was in control.
And then things began to turn for Rich, so much so that by the middle of December, the doctors announced that somehow the bacteria had disappeared from his body. They said they had no idea why it was gone, but it was gone. They said that Rich was a walking miracle.
Doctors don't completely understand how this bacteria works normally, and there's no question that the medical procedures helped. But those involved directly in the event seem to agree with Heidi, who says, "I knew that heaven had been bombarded with prayer and had retaliated with volleys of peace, strength, and healing."
Psychological Healing
This is an older story, but one of my favorites. You'll see that it parallels so many stories of addiction that we hear about these days. Harold Hughes was a man who would go on to become governor and then a senator from Iowa, but in his early years he was addicted to alcohol, and drinking was ruining his life. Harold drank on the job (he ran a small association of truck drivers), and on top of that he was in the habit of verbally abusing his wife and children at home. He promised his family dozens of times after each binge of drinking and abusive behavior that he would quit drinking, but he never managed to break his addiction.
One night, when his wife had scheduled them to attend a dinner party, Harold stopped into a bar on the way home to have "just one drink." When 11:00 rolled around, he was drunk and depressed. He came home to an empty house and lay down on the couch, his head pounding with nausea and guilt. The years of abuse and lack
We've already talked about the difference posture and setting can make in prayer. In addition, many people of prayer have discovered that when they employ all their senses in praying, the act of prayer can be a richer experience.
How It Works
It seems only natural that when you want to pray with some seriousness, you find a quiet place and shut your eyes that is, you try to disengage the two most active senses of sight and sound to focus on God. There are many prayers who find this the most meaningful way to pray.
Yet another approach has a long history as well. In this one, prayers go to some quiet place to get away from the usual sights and sounds that bombard them, but only to re-engage the senses in a new task and redirect them to a new focus.
God has created us as both as spiritual and as physical beings, and he has created a physical place in which we live. He also has given us five means to navigate his creation: sight, smell, hearing, touch, and taste. When someone is not able to use one of these senses, we say he is "handicapped “or "impaired" or ''challenged." Some prayers may be handicapping themselves because they are unaware of or deliberately avoid engaging all their senses in prayer.
To put it more positively, many prayers have found that when they engage all their senses in prayers, their prayer lives take on new meaning. Over the centuries, the use of certain objects in prayer has helped them engage their senses.
Crucifix/Cross
The cross has been a symbol in many religions. Egyptians thought the tau cross (which looks like a capital "T") represented life. For the ancient Greeks, the four points of the cross represented earth, air, water, and fire what they believed were the four eternal elements.
But today in the West, the cross is associated with Christianity, and it is its most popular symbol, by far. This is surprising when you think about it. The cross was an instrument of torture and death in the Roman Empire, the equivalent to our electric chair. Perhaps if Jesus would have been executed in an electric chair, Christians would display electric chairs in churches and hang them around their necks.
Though the gruesomeness of crucifixion is nearly forgotten, the fact of Christ's death has not been. For Christians, that death has multiple meanings.
It shows God's love: "God so loved the world," says one biblical writer, "that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).
It shows grace: "While we were utterly helpless, sinners, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners" (Romans 5:6).
It shows God's paradoxical wisdom and power. The apostle Paul once explained it this way: "When we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended and the Gentiles say it's all nonsense. But to those called by God to salvation, both Jews and Gentiles, Christ is the mighty power of God and the wonderful wisdom of God. This 'foolish' plan of God is far wiser than the wisest human plans, and God's weakness is far stronger than the greatest human strength" (1 Corinthians 1:2325).
When it comes to the cross, on it goes, ad infinitum. It might be fair to say that every book written about the Christian faith has, in some sense, been an attempt to understand the meaning of the cross. This cross transcends human understanding, and thus it has become a key symbol of prayer.
You'll find crosses in two basic forms. The crucifix is a cross with Jesus hanging on it, designed to remind us of the sufferings of Christ on our behalf. The empty cross, though also acknowledging Christ's death, is said to recall his conquering death through his resurrection.
On top of that, you'll see a variety of patterns. Entire books are devoted to showing that variety, but here let me simply look at three:
· The Latin Cross: Simple and elegant, it is the cross in its most basic form. This is the cross you'll see more than any other.
· The Celtic Cross: Today Presbyterians think of this as their cross, but it was first used by Celtic Christians in Ireland, starting in the A.D. 500s to 600s. The circle in the middle is said to represent the earth, with Christ having authority over the whole world. It also represents the sun, as a circle of light, and therefore Christ as the light of the world. As a circle, a figure without beginning or end, it also signifies eternity.
· The Jerusalem Cross: Like most symbols, the four crosses within a cross can represent a variety of things: the four corners of the earth and Jesus' sacrifice for the whole world; the four Gospels; and so on.
And on it goes. Some books contain outlines of as many as 60 different styles of crosses, each with its own history and symbolism.
Candles
Candles have been a regular part of prayer in many religions for many centuries. The practice may have begun merely as a means to bring light to a darkened sanctuary, but it soon became a powerful symbol of hope. Though we have incandescent bulbs to light our way these days, candles remain an important element in worship and prayer the gentle flickering, the shape and color of the flame, and the soft light all lend themselves to a prayerful mood.
In Christian circles, candles represent Christ as the light of the world, the one who brings light into our spiritual darkness. Candles are also lit as a prayer, especially before shrines or in memory of someone who has died: The idea is that, though our words and body may cease praying, the candle continues to burn as a kind of ongoing prayer. In another sense, the candle continues to burn until it burns out as a symbol of our desire to give ourselves fully to Christ until we die.
Many people set up candles where they pray each day. Sometimes it's a single candle, sometimes two, or three, or seven. Nearly every number has some sort of symbolism, though in practice the numeric symbol seems to be less important than the power of the light itself.
Incense
So far we've been talking about objects that affect sight: This is one that affects the sense of smell as well. The burning of incense has been a feature of religious ceremonies since ancient times. It is mentioned as early as 1530 B.C. on an inscribed tablet near the Sphinx at Giza, Egypt, and it was used in early Jewish religion and later by the Romans, in both religious and civic ceremonies. In Christian circles, incense is widely used in Anglican, Roman Catholic, and Orthodox churches.
Some people burn incense in their homes as they pray. The rising smoke is a symbol of prayers going up to God, and the unique aroma tangibly sets a person in the context of prayer. In fact, the sense of smell is one of the most powerful at getting us to associate one thing with another. When I smell motor oil, for instance, my mind immediately conjures up images of working on my car. When I smell turkey cooking, I'm instantly transported to one of the many Thanksgiving Day get-togethers I've enjoyed. After you've experienced the use of incense in worship or prayer, you begin to become more prayerful when you inhale its aroma.
Icons
Though all manner of paintings, sculptures, woodcuts, and the like can be used to aid prayer, I'll mention here the type of image most associated with prayer: icons.
Icons are the special contribution of the Eastern Orthodox churches. The Orthodox believe that icons are not just human pictures or visual aids to contemplation and prayer. Icons are sometimes called "windows to heaven," or "witnesses of the presence of the kingdom of God to us, and so of our own presence to the kingdom of God in the church." That is, icons may help us see the reality of God more clearly in the here and now.
In terms of content, icons are depictions of biblical and church saints and angels. They are not meant to be realistic depictions of natural features but spiritual depictions that seek to illuminate the transcendent qualities of the subject. There are strict rules about creating icons (for example, they cannot be 3D because that might tempt the viewer to think of icons as an attempt at physical realism, or as mere paintings).
Though icons are not just aids to prayer, they are at least that. It's not that people pray to them, but through them. By focusing on the saint and his or her spiritual qualities, we can be transported to that which lies beyond the saint namely, God.
Prayer and Fasting
Fasting is not an object, but it does involve the senses and thus deserves attention here. Fasting is the practice of abstaining from food to dedicate yourself to a particular end. As a temporary denial of the senses, it paradoxically accents those senses and thus helps us enter into prayer more deeply.
Fasting serves a variety of purposes: It's a form of self-denial. It reminds us of the suffering of others and of Christ. It helps us appreciate not only food, but all of God's gifts. In and of itself, however, fasting has also helped many people experience more intimacy with God.
Skeptics chalk this up to delusion brought on by lack of sustenance, but those who have actually had the experience know otherwise. I remember one prayer time in particular that came after a day-long fast. As I went into prayer, I felt God's presence as tangibly as I feel the chair I'm sitting on now. I've fasted enough to know the difference between hunger that toys with my emotional state and the presence of something beyond emotion.
There are all manner of fasts, from skipping one meal to not eating for a week. Usually when people fast, it is for one day. That usually means three meals in a 24-hour period: That can mean eating dinner one night, but not breakfast or lunch the next day, and only having dinner after 24 hours is up. Or, it can mean simply skipping breakfast, lunch, and dinner one day and not eating until the next. Some fast by only eschewing solid food: They feel free to drink fruit juices during the day to keep up their energy.
There are no hard and fast (excuse the pun) rules here. The point is to put yourself in a state of self-denial so that at various times of the day, your body reminds you what you're doing. Every time you feel hungry, it is an opportunity to pray, as is the time you would normally spend eating.
Odds and Ends
The above are the most common and traditional aids to Christian prayer, but they hardly limit what can be done. In one worship service, we each received a nail, and we used that during prayer to remind us of Christ's crucifixion. Certainly music can help deepen prayer. We are limited only by our fortitude: To remind themselves of Christ's death and their own mortality, many medieval saints meditated on skulls!
Then again, you may not be a tactile person, and the whole idea of using anything physical to pursue the spiritual just seems like a big distraction. You have a strong tradition behind you. But so do those who feel that they have to employ as many senses as possible to fully enter into prayer.
Well, it doesn't have to be an either/or situation. We can pray for healing and go see a doctor. Yes, most of the time God heals through natural means, through the work of able physicians and through the body's healing capacity. But sometimes God goes beyond natural means to bring healing, even today.
Another common doubt is this: Sometimes we're tempted to think that prayers for healing are nothing more than a form of positive thinking, of visualizing. In other words, we might think that prayer is psychologically useful, but not necessarily spiritually powerful.
Again, it's not a matter of either/or. Of course, prayer is psychologically powerful. After all, God has created us in such a way that almost anything we do has a psychological affect on us. But in prayer, more than psychology is at work God is at work, too.
How can we "prove" this? Well, healing prayer is not subject to proof in a scientific sense. In fact, the most important things of life can't be "proved." For example, my wife loves me. Though there are lots of indications that this is true, none of them is absolute proof: She could be lying to me and putting on an act for some ulterior motive. Then again, I know she loves me, and I know that as surely as I know that I'm typing at a computer now.
Healing prayer works like that. You can't prove it, yet you know it's real. The only way to talk about it sensibly is through stories. Let me tell you about the experiences of two people, one who was healed physically and one who was healed emotionally. I picked them not because they are unusual, but because they are so typical. You'll find such stories in many Christian books and periodicals, including Guideposts (the source of the second story) and Christian Reader (the source of the first).
Physical Healing
As he sat in his Phoenix, Arizona, home in late November 1996 (the Tuesday before Thanksgiving), Rich Payton began shivering unexpectedly. Chills ran through his body so hard that his teeth rattled. Rich, an administrator of the Boys and Girls Clubs, thought to himself, "This is the worst possible time for me to be coming down with the flu."
It became increasingly clear, however, that the problem wasn't the flu: Rich didn't eat or sleep much for the next three days, and he began feeling pain in his right arm and left leg. When his right arm swelled and became hot and sensitive to touch, his wife, Heidi, rushed him to the emergency room.
After running tests, the doctor announced to Heidi that Rich had a rare disease, a group A strep bacteria called necrotising fascitis, also known as "flesh-eating" bacteria. This bacteria had already entered his bloodstream, and it was killing off muscle and heading toward his vital organs. If it reached them, he had no chance of survival. At it was, the mortality rate was 70 percent, despite aggressive treatment. In any event, his leg and arm would have to be amputated.
Doctors rushed him to the operating room and tried to clean out or "debride" the affected tissues. They stalled on the amputation as they became increasingly convinced that Rich's chances of survival were nil. They told Heidi to contact Rich's parents and to prepare for the worst.
For Heidi, preparing meant prayer not only her prayers, but those of friends and church members. For the next two weeks, she sat with her husband who was so drugged on morphine to kill the pain that he remembers little of that time and tried to encourage him. "Sleep sound in Jesus," she whispered, quoting a line from their daughter's favorite lullaby. Heidi struggled with grief, but her shock and mourning slowly turned to peace as she became assured that God was in control.
And then things began to turn for Rich, so much so that by the middle of December, the doctors announced that somehow the bacteria had disappeared from his body. They said they had no idea why it was gone, but it was gone. They said that Rich was a walking miracle.
Doctors don't completely understand how this bacteria works normally, and there's no question that the medical procedures helped. But those involved directly in the event seem to agree with Heidi, who says, "I knew that heaven had been bombarded with prayer and had retaliated with volleys of peace, strength, and healing."
Psychological Healing
This is an older story, but one of my favorites. You'll see that it parallels so many stories of addiction that we hear about these days. Harold Hughes was a man who would go on to become governor and then a senator from Iowa, but in his early years he was addicted to alcohol, and drinking was ruining his life. Harold drank on the job (he ran a small association of truck drivers), and on top of that he was in the habit of verbally abusing his wife and children at home. He promised his family dozens of times after each binge of drinking and abusive behavior that he would quit drinking, but he never managed to break his addiction.
One night, when his wife had scheduled them to attend a dinner party, Harold stopped into a bar on the way home to have "just one drink." When 11:00 rolled around, he was drunk and depressed. He came home to an empty house and lay down on the couch, his head pounding with nausea and guilt. The years of abuse and lack
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