GO THROUGH THREE GATES "Anyone can become angry – that's easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy," taught Aristotle. With all the stress and pressure in our lives, it is easy to lose cool at the slightest irritation. While we are rushing home from work at the end of another exhausting day, we scream at the slow driver in front of us who apparently has all the time in the world. While we shop at the grocery shop, we get annoyed with the stock clerk who sends us to the wrong aisle when we are in search of the ingredients for tonight's lasagna. And while we are eating our dinner, we yell at the telemarketer who has the nerve to interrupt us in an attempt to sell us his latest wares. The problem with losing your temper on a daily basis is that it becomes a habit. And like most habits, a time arrives when it becomes second nature. Personal relationships start unraveling, business partnerships begin to fall apart and your credibility decreases as you become known as "a loose cannon." Effective people are consistent and, in many ways, predictable. Tough times call for cool people and they are always cool and calm when the pressure is on. Keeping your cool in a moment of crisis can save you years of pain and anguish. Hurtful words unleashed in a single minute of anger have led to many a broken friendship. Words are like arrows: once released, they are impossible to receive. So choose yours with care. An excellent way to control your temper is simply to count to 100 before you respond to someone who has irritated you. Another strategy to use is what I call the "Three Gate Test." The ancient sages would only speak if the words they were about to utter passed three gates. At the first gate, they asked themselves, are these words truthful? If so, the words could pass on to the second gate. At the second gate, the sages asked, are these words necessary? If so, they would then pass on to the third gate, where they would ask, are these words kind? If so, then only would they leave their lips and be sent out into the world. (Written by: Robin Sharma)
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